How to guard your heart.

For most of my life, I struggled with setting boundaries. I thought it was unloving to say no, especially as a newer believer. There’s a call to be loving, merciful, and selfless, always putting others first. However, Proverbs 4:23 came to mind: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

These last few months, I’ve felt God pressing that scripture on my heart, and it’s made me realize something: boundaries are not just important, they’re loving and biblical. It hit me that setting healthy boundaries helps protect our heart, our walk with God, and our relationships with others.

1. Guarding our Hearts: Guard our hearts because everything we do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23—our emotions, thoughts, decisions, all of it. I remember thinking, “Okay, I get that I should guard my heart... but how do I do that?”
   Then, I gently felt the nudge towards Philippians 4:6-7. It talks about not being anxious about anything, but bringing everything to God in prayer, and then His peace will guard our hearts and minds. That was such a game-changer for me. I realized that through prayer and trusting God, He can guard my heart from fear, anxiety, and all those heavy things we’re not meant to carry on our own in the first place. 1 Peter 5:7 backs this up—“Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you.” Once I leaned into that, I noticed a real shift in my walk. God's promises are literally yes and amen, and that’s exactly what He did. When I took the steps to guard my heart, He followed with the faithfulness to meet me halfway. Here, I physically felt my mind and heart safeguarded by HIs protection.

2. Sin can and will defile us, as it opens our hearts to a lack of true peace and inner rest. The famous guarding our heart scripture found in Proverbs 4 warns us against practicing deceit (a form of lying and being dishonest). Being deceitful can even hinder our prayers until we turn away from practicing it completely through His grace (1 Peter 1:22). Now, personally, I have found myself in situations where I have practiced deceit, more from a place of fear of man or people pleasing. However, God gently reminded me that through His spirit, and in His redemptive power, He gives us the ability to overcome fear of man and fear in general through the Spirit He has given us (Romans 5:5). This Holy Spirit, or "spirit of love" like the word suggests tells us that: "There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears is not complete in love." 1 John 4:18. As we continue to surrender to God's invitational forgiveness, healing and revelation of what salvation means, all fear starts to leave your soul, and you find yourself living in the fearless surrender that we have always been created to be. No longer fearing man, death or anything else other than God and having full, imperfect victory over sin, through the Spirit and grace He gives us when we freely believe.

3. Forgiven much, love much: Personally, on my faith walk, I have vulnerably gone through periods of fear and periods of complete faith, fearlessness and victory. The faith, fearlessness and victory came from understanding the Gospel message in its true context. When one believes in Christ, Jesus takes away their sins completely. Even if you have done crazy things... once you fully surrender, and humbly ask for a relationship with Jesus, acknowledging Him with faith in your heart, He gives you a new heart (Ezekiel 36:26-27). Through His mercy and grace, because of His life and mercy, in Him, we are completely forgiven, clothed in His righteous life and deeds (Isaiah 61, Galatians 3 reference). This allows us to enter into an internal rest and away from a works-based salvation. However, good deeds and love naturally flow from a life that has been fully forgiven. "Blessed are those who will never be charged with sin". Romans 4:8 The New Heart and Spirit He gives at salvation also permits us to no longer be enslaved to sin, but a new ability to walk in Holiness, having complete victory over things like habitual outbursts of anger, habitual fear, etc. that keep us bound. Galatians 5, 1 John 4-5 reference.

4. Yes, even Jesus Set Boundaries: It was a bit of a surprise to realize that Jesus, God in the flesh, who is perfect love itself, set boundaries too. He often stepped away from the crowds to pray (Luke 5:16) and didn’t let people’s expectations control Him. Like in Matthew 12:46-50, when His family tried to interrupt His ministry, He didn’t stop what He was doing. He wasn’t being harsh, just focused—His priority was the will of His Father. This showed me that boundaries are not about rejecting people, but making sure our mental state, spiritual walk and responsibilities are safeguarded too.

5. Balancing Love with Boundaries: Of course, we’re called to love others, but there’s wisdom in how we go about it. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Bad company corrupts good morals.” You can’t just pour into everyone and everything without being mindful of the influences you allow around you. It’s important to show grace and mercy, but not at the expense of your boundaries, identity and walk with God. Boundaries help protect that, and I learned the hard way many times throughout this. Another scripture that stood out to me was Matthew 7:6: “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.” At first, this verse felt intense, maybe even harsh, but after experiencing it firsthand, I realized how real it is. It’s not about being rude or withholding love, but about using wisdom in how and with whom you share what’s sacred to you. People can and will sometimes trample on the things that matter most to you, and if you’re not emotionally prepared for it, it can leave you feeling more broken than before. So, loving people well also means being wise about protecting your heart and knowing when to hold back for your own peace and emotional well-being.

6. Boundaries = Self-Control and Heart Protection: One of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control, and setting boundaries is an act of that. It keeps us from reacting impulsively or emotionally, which is so easy to do sometimes. James 1:19 tells us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Boundaries help us do that by giving me space to process and respond instead of reacting out of frustration. In the same breath, however, I have personally had my boundaries tested multiple times, and have experienced God's supernatural power to remain loving even when tested. This is all an act of His love and grace that flows through the Spirit He provides: For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment. 2 Timothy 1:7, and, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5

7. God’s Protection is Tangible and Real: Before I knew Jesus, I tried all kinds of things—crystals, energy protection methods, you name it, to feel safe and guarded. But when I gave my life to Christ in December 2020, that’s when I finally felt true protection. 1 John 5:18 says that those born of God are kept safe, and the evil one can’t touch them. The scripture that hits me the most is "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38. So, if you’re relying on things like crystals or external sources for protection, I encourage you to turn to Jesus and ask for a real relationship with Him and to be filled with His Holy Spirit. He offers eternal security and protection through faith in Him. For a testimony on this, you can visit here on YouTube or here on the podcast.